It’s Not You, It’s Me.

When one of my kids starts to make a habit of a behavior that’s not-so-great, I start to be a real drama queen in my head. I place all the blame on him and wonder why he can’t just do what I want him to do. Why doesn’t he understand (or care about) the consequences I have in place?

Then I realize, he does understand the consequences I have in place, which is exactly why this behavior keeps happening. I may not realize it, but sometimes my behaviors actually cause his undesirable ones to increase when I really want them to decrease. Sometimes it’s not his fault. Sometimes it’s mine. Continue reading “It’s Not You, It’s Me.”

My Kid Won’t Listen!

A week or so ago, I was listening to myself give the same directions over and over and over again, while my daughter just sat there. Didn’t look at me. Didn’t respond. Just sat, completely ignoring me, playing away with whatever toys she had.

I started to get mad, then I realized it was my fault.

I realized that I was using a really good behavioral tool in a really counterproductive way. I’ve been using the warnings and treat chart with my 4 year old, to help her listen. She had been having trouble listening to me right away when I was telling her to do things, and a lot of times, she just ended up plain old ignoring me when I gave her instructions. Continue reading “My Kid Won’t Listen!”