4 Steps to Love Your Screen Free Life

4 steps to go unplugged and take your life back. Plus a free 10 day email course, Go Unplugged: Pro-Level.

As I turned my computer on in a crowded room, all the kids raced to it and hovered like moths. They abandoned their games, their snacks, and their entire surroundings to stare at my screen.

When I closed my computer and looked around, I noticed the adults in the room weren’t doing much better than the kids. Expressionless faces glowed in the blue light of cell phones and tablets.

We were all screen-time zombies. Continue reading “4 Steps to Love Your Screen Free Life”

37 Ways to Help Your Kids Feel Loved

25 Ways to to help your kids feel loved in less than 5 minutes. Plus mother-child date ideas and a free printable.

We had a zillion things to do before the dentist appointment. When the kids woke up, we got straight to work.

I washed dishes. Made the bed. Swept the floor. I nagged the kids to eat breakfast. Brush their teeth. Get dressed. I barely even said, “Good morning.”

And then it was time to leave.

I wrestled a wiggly baby, packed the diaper bag, and barked out more commands, “Get your shoes on. Get in the car.”

My son Freaked. Out.

He screamed like only a two-year-old can. We can’t go, he protested. He wanted to play with his dinosaurs or lie in bed with a sippy cup of milk. He wanted me to pick him up or snuggle. Anything but get in the car.

We didn’t have time for this. I didn’t have time to deal with snit fits and freak-outs.

So I didn’t deal with it. Not well, anyways. I scooped him up and strapped all the kids in their car seats, ignoring their protests. Ignoring the whole situation until it just went away.

As we pulled out of the driveway I saw tears in my rear-view mirror.

Their tears dried up but the disconnect lasted.

That morning, my kids didn’t feel loved.

When they feel powerless

I was too busy thinking about everything I needed to get done and I forgot to think about my kids.

Being a kid is hard.

Our little guys don’t know how to handle their big emotions. They struggle to communicate and feel understood. They want to play, but we constantly interrupt them, “Brush your teeth. Pick up your toys. Get in the car.”

We tell them how to walk, what to do with their hands, how they can and can’t play. We decide how much dinner they eat and when they use the bathroom.

As moms, we love our kids, so we do these things to keep them safe and healthy. But it doesn’t make them feel loved. Instead it makes them feel powerless.

We need to do more than love our kids. We need to show them we love them.

We need to make them feel loved.

Show them we love them

We need to stock up on positive interactions. Some call it “filling the tank.”

Healthy relationships need 5 positive interactions for every negative one. Tweet this.

We add extra positive exchanges whenever we can so the negative ones don’t tip the scale. It helps our kids feel valued and loved even in hard times.

There are 2 awesome ways to fill our relationship tanks.

The first is to do small things every day to show our kids we love them. Give your kids a little extra time, effort, or attention. Do little gestures that make them feel special. Use this list for ideas your kids will adore.

Little Gestures

  1. Look in their eyes and smile
  2. Share a high 5, fist bump, or secret handshake
  3. Hold hands
  4. Scratch or rub their back
  5. Play what they want- without your phone out
  6. Split a special treat
  7. Play a board game
  8. Give them spa treatment (face mask, paint their nails)
  9. Tell a story
  10. Read a book
  11. Listen to their stories
  12. Ask open-ended questions
  13. Compliment them
  14. Surprise them with a gift
  15. Get messy together
  16. Snuggle in bed with a short movie
  17. Create artwork
  18. Build Legos
  19. Cook a toddler-friendly recipe together
  20. Watch the birds and squirrels
  21. Build a fort
  22. Drink juice out of champagne glasses
  23. Go for a walk
  24. Draw with chalk
  25. Pick dandelions

These small things show our kids every day that we love them. That they are special to us.

But sometimes we need something bigger.

The second awesome way to fill our relationship tanks is to go on dates and have one-on-one time to talk and bond. A “mommy-daughter” or “mother-son” date is the perfect solution.

Be creative and do things your kids love. These are some of my favorites dates to get you started.

Mother-Child Dates

  1. Share a donut and iced coffee
  2. Go out to lunch (where kids eat free)
  3. Play arcade games
  4. Go window shopping
  5. Stop at the candy store for a special treat
  6. Take a walk or bike ride
  7. Go to the beach
  8. Shop at Goodwill- they can pick out whatever they want without worrying about the price
  9. Visit a local park
  10. Find ducks to feed
  11. Go to a farm
  12. Visit an aquarium or children’s museum

Do it now

Our kids need to feel loved. And we’re the ones who need to make that happen. Now is the perfect time to start!

  1. Print the list and brainstorm ideas to add.
  2. Every day, do at least 3 things from the “Little Gestures” list.
  3. Pull out your calendar and schedule a “Mother-Child Date” with each of your kids. Find a babysitter and mark it on the calendar.

So helpful! Love this reminder list of 5-minute ways to help our kids feel loved!

It makes a difference

This morning, I had a zillion things to do again. But this time, I made sure to think about my kids. I made sure to connect with them and help them feel loved.

They woke up and I snuggled in beside them and asked about their dreams. Then I prompted them to eat breakfast and surprised them with sprinkles in their yogurt. I asked them to get dressed and complimented their outfit choices.

We sat together to put our shoes on and talked about our plans to play outside after lunch. We finally piled into the car and I asked them what music we should listen to.

And as we pulled out of the driveway, I didn’t hear any crying. I didn’t see any tears. Instead, my kids felt loved and I saw smiles in my rear-view mirror.

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Love these easy ways to connect with the kids and help them feel loved!

Great date ideas! And a ton of easy ways to connect with the kids!Love these easy ways to connect with your kids and help them feel loved!

How to be the Parent You’ve Always Wanted to be

Take the challenge to learn to parent with kindness.

When someone’s mean to my kid, my heart pounds in my ears, my cheeks turn red, and my arms start to tingle. Mama bear comes out and I get mad.

Other times my kids test my patience. They push my buttons, and the protective mama bear is replaced by a sarcastic tone, biting words, and a selfish attitude. Why am I mean to my own kids?

I need to learn to be kind.

Continue reading “How to be the Parent You’ve Always Wanted to be”

How to be Calm in the Frenzy of Motherhood

Use a mindset check-in to turn weaknesses into strengths for a healthy attitude.

I wrote a mile-long to-do list, mentally mapped out my day, and pulled down the Legos to keep the kids happy. Then I started my real work.

I slipped my dish gloves on and dove elbow-deep into grease and suds. “Mom, I’m hungry,” interrupted me. I rolled my eyes and peeled off the gloves to plop a bowl of cereal on the table.

I finished the dishes and moved on to fold laundry. “Mom, I spilled my milk!” I frowned at the pile of clothes gathering wrinkles and stomped away to clean up the mess. Continue reading “How to be Calm in the Frenzy of Motherhood”

How to Stop Wasting Time and Love the Little Moments

Stop wasting time 5 easy ways in your everyday life.

My 3-year-old asked for help while I prepped dinner the other day. I stepped away to transform from chef to superhero to solve the problem of the moment.

After a second, I was back to the original task. When I swiped the screen to get back to my Pinterest recipe, a little red “5” beckoned me to the bottomless void of Facebook. I’ll just check my notifications. Then I had to reply to a few comments, answer messages, and browse the feed.

A new email popped up and lured me over to my inbox. I deleted spam, read a few non-urgent messages, and realized I was wasting time. I turned my tablet off and put it away so I wouldn’t be tempted to use it again. Continue reading “How to Stop Wasting Time and Love the Little Moments”

8 Easy Ways to Get More Trust in Your Life

Daily steps to learn when and how to trust and become a trustworthy parent.

“Mom, what are you eating?” my 4-year-old daughter chirped as she peeked around the fridge door at the crinkling wrapper in my hands.

“Uhhh… um, nothing,” I garbled past the chocolate I knew she could smell with her super-candy-sensor nose. “Go pick a game and I’ll be right over.” Her narrowed eyes darted back to my closed fist before she stepped away to set up her game.

I finished chewing to get rid of the evidence and walked over to play a round of Candy Land. The game pushed the incident out of my mind until I lay in bed that night and stared at the ceiling. Continue reading “8 Easy Ways to Get More Trust in Your Life”

Want Healthy, Happy Kids? Learn How to Love Yourself

A step-by-step guide to better self-esteem for us and our kids.

“What the heck is my problem?!” I snapped, as I chucked my salt-instead-of-sugar cookie dough in the garbage.  “I’m such an idiot. I just can’t do anything right.” I threw the dirty utensils in the sink and speed cleaned the kitchen.

A few hours later, I heard my daughter shout from the other room, “What is WRONG with me? Why do I always do everything wrong?”

I ran to stop her from berating herself and found her with her elbows on the table, fingertips pressed against her temples. Paper shreds all over the floor. Continue reading “Want Healthy, Happy Kids? Learn How to Love Yourself”